Things That The DOA Characters Will Do and Won't
by SarahBearX
Summary: Just a compilation of things that I thought that would be funny! So check it out!
1. Things DOA Characters Will NEVER Say

**_Disclaimer_**: If there is anything you see that I more than likely do not own, then your prolly right...I prolly don't own it. This is all PURELY humor, and if you don't like seeing the characters get bashed, then please don't read...for your sake and for my mine. This is NOT a list! It is a compilation of things that the DOA characters wouldn't say! It might seem like at list at first but keep going down, it has "action" parts in most of the conversations taking place! So please don't take it off for it seeming like a list! Because I assure you, it isn't nor will it be one!

Thank you Sarah The Hypered Up Jelly Bean!

--means that the characters are doing something.

**_> >? >? > >> >? > >? >? >? > > >? >>> > > > >? >? >? _**

**_Victor Donovan_**--- Christie Baby! Let's go make like rabbits+is wearing a silk robe++pats the space of bed beside him+Authoress gags repeatedly++Donovan glares at the Author+

**_Christie_**--- I love people! And I love cute, little furry animals!

holds a rabbit starts cooing to it and scratching it's belly+

**_Ayane_**--- Aren't my purple kunai's so pretty++hyperactive perky smile++Ryu slowly slinks away from her+ **_Ryu_**++whispering+ Ayane scares me with those damn things! **_Ayane_**: Oh Ryu! **_Ryu_**: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! GET AWAY GET AWAY!

**_Hayate_**--- Does this outfit make me look fat++is wearing his DOA3 white Ninjustsu outfit++pokes stomach with index finger+ **_Ryu_**++coughs slightly+ Yes, yes it does! **_Hayate_**: WAAAAHHHH! **_Ryu_**: O.O

**_Ryu Hayabusa_**--- I feel pretty! Oh so pretty, witty, and gay++flings hair around like one of the Pantene girls++fangirls swoon++several fighter's drool++Ryu is oblivious to any of this+

**_Brad Wong_**--- I give up drinking. I wanna be a smoker now. +pulls out a pack of Marlboro from his pocket+ Anybody got a lighter?

**_Helena_**--- +singing operaly+ AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH----- +cough cough cough+ O.O I ran out of air...WTFH!111

**_Tina_**--- +looks down at her Double D's+ I really need a breast reduction! DOCTOR! IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE!11

**_Bayman_**--- +looks down at his Glock+ I'm tired of killing people even though I get payed for it. +throws gun in the crash+

**_Leon_**--- +in a sandstorm in the desert+ Where in the hell am I++he's in the desert that he's suppose to know by heart+

**_Zack_**--- I hate being rich, having lots of women hanging off my arm, and I hate limos.

**_Bass_**--- Tina, you can do whatever you want Sweetheart++big fatherly smile+

**_Kasumi_**--- +looks at her favorite food, strawberry millefuille+ I hate this! I want something else that tastes good++throws the plate at a random wall+

**_Kasumi_**--- +looks at a random tarot card that she picked up+ O.o What does this mean?

**_Kasumi_**--- +to Ayane+ I hate you, you...you bitch you++Ayane runs off crying and screaming how nobody loves her+

**_Zack_**--- I also hate random stupid islands with volcanoes that explode, and I also hate perving on women in skimpy swimsuits.

**_Ayane_**--- +To Kasumi+ I love you sister++gives her a big hug+ Kasumi: WTF!

**_Christie_**--- I love you guys! Group hug++Everyone runs away+ O.O +looks around+ Did I say something wrong? O.o

**_Gen-Fu_**--- +to Leon in DOA2+ My Iron Fist may very well kill you! **_Leon_**++yawns bored like+ Whatever you say old man. **_Gen-Fu_**: What did you say!**_Leon_**: I said Whatever old man! Why, what could you possibly do to me++laughs+ **_Gen-Fu_**: punches him in the chest with his so-called Iron Fist +hand breaks in three places and fractures in five others+ OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!1111111111 +runs off to the local hospital+ **_Leon_**: BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA++lifts up shirt, and we see a steel sheets of armor attached to his chest+ BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA SUCKER!111

**_Brad Wong_**--- +chucks his sake and rum bottles in a dumpster+ I don't need this...why when I have this++pulls out a bag of weed from his inner pocket+ DOES ANYONE HAVE A BONG?

**_Hayate_**--- +to his clan+ I resign as your Leader...go do whatever the hell you want. + in the background you can hear hundreds of people cheering+ O.O I guess, they didn't like me all that much...oh well...RYU! **_Ryu_**: Eh? **_Hayate_**: I wanna join your clan! **_Ryu_**: O.O Why? **_Hayate_**: points at his village They all hate me?**_Ryu_**: O.o...uhm... **_Hayate_**: Why thank you Ryu! Your my bestest bestest best friend! **_Ryu_**: Uhm...Hayate, I never said that you could join my clan... **_Hayate_**: WHAT! pulls out his sword and katana chases Ryu **_Ryu_**: GET THIS PSYCHO AWAY FROM ME! AAHHHHHHHHHHHHH HELP! HE'S GONNA KILL MEEEEEEEEEE? **_Hayate_**: MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! **_Ryu_**++screams like a little girl+ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! **_Mugen-Tenshin Clan_**++sits on the ground eating cheese popcorn and drinking Cherry Coca Cola+ This is better than watching Ayane and Kasumi kill each other!

**_Ryu Hayabusa_**--- +to Doku and Mirai+ Yes! Thank you Doku for killing all my people in my villlage and thank you Mirai for betraying me++has a goofy, happy, stupid smile on his features++Doku and Mirai stare at each other before running in the other direction+

**_Leifang_**--- +looks down at her slit-up-to-the-hip dress+ MY DRESS IS RUINED++sobs+

**_Jann Lee_**--- +looks at the thugs that are standing in front of him++gets into his Jeet Kune Do fighting stance++random thug comes at him with a pipe++cowers+ PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!

**_Hitomi_**--- Look Daddy! I can do Karate++tries to a high kick but falls in mid air++hits ass really hard on the ground++sobs+

**_Bass_**--- I hate wrestling even though I am the Undefeated Heavyweight Champion. +looks at his title, shrugs, and throws it away++a couple of minutes later we see Triple H and John Cena in a fist fight to see who gets it+ Triple H: That belt is mine Cena! Cena: I don't think so punk! It's my belt, and I'm gonna make it do a spinarooee! Triple H: WTF!

**_Donovan_**--- I love it when you guys ruin my plans for world domination++smiles jovially+

**_Radiou_**--- +to Ayane Genra+ is not your father--- **_Ayane_**: Then who is? **_Radiou_**++ glares at her+ As I was saying, Genra is not your father, I am++DUN DUN DUUUUNNNNNNNNN++Ayane sobs loudly and hugs him around the middle+ **_Ayane_**: I love you Daddy++ In the background you can see Genra looking at them with his bottom lip trembling violently+ **_Genra_**++To Ayane+ But what about me sweetie? **_Ayane_**: You don't matter anymore! **_Genra_**: bursts into tears and runs away

**_Genra_**--- +To Hayate In a Darth Vader voice+ Hayate, I am your father. + breathes in like Vader++crickets chirp++Genra takes off mask and sees that he has been talking to Ryu Hayabusa+ WTF++looks over at Hayate and walks over to him puts mask back on+ Hayate, I an your father. **_Hayate_**++stupid grin+ Really? **_Genra_**++coughs+ No not really... **_Hayate_**: WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! I want my Mommy! **_Ryu_**: You dare hurt my Hayate! **_Genra_**: Eeeeeppppp++runs away with Ryu chasing after him screaming obscenities at him while trying to hack to him pieces with his Dragon Sword+

**_Ryu_**++is standing in front of a full body mirror and is dressed in his C2 costume from DOA3+ Does this make my butt look big?

**_Tina_**--- + to Bass+ I want to be a wrestler forever and ever++overly enthusiastic voice+

**_Author's Note_**:

If you do read this, can you please leave a review? They are much appreciated, even flames...so can you please leave on for me? Cuz they inspire me and I love reading them regardless if they are flames.

If you like this, then check out Ch. 2! It'll be full of even more randomness and hilarity!


	2. Things DOA Characters Were Caught Doing

Disclaimer: See Ch. 1.

Ryu and Hayate both have Butterfinger candy bars, and ski masks on. They go into a small gas station. They put the candy bar into a man's back. "Give us all your money now!" The frightened guy gives them his wallet. Hayate and Ryu both drop their candy bars on the ground and disappear. They re-appear back in their apartment and give each other high-fives. "SCORE!"

Zack goes out in public wearing a wedding dress, and somehow manages to look like Dennis Rodman in the process.

Ryu is caught watching the movie Bill And Ted's Excellent Adventure, whilst eating cheese popcorn and drinking a Budweiser.

Hayate is caught dancing to Another One Bites The Dust.

Leifang is caught slitting her dresses. On purpose.

Jann Lee is caught stealing candy from a kid. A lollipop to be exact. A purple one. It was grape.

Bass was caught singing, rather horribly might I add, to Beyonce's Naughty Girl.

Kasumi was caught holding a strawberry condom.

Ryu was caught** laughing**.

Zack was caught screaming like a little girl when he saw a mouse.

Christie was caught smiling **warmly**.

Bayman was caught talking to his parakeet, whose name is Bobbert, using baby talk.

Leon was caught stuffing his face full of donuts. He gained ten pounds. He cried for hours straight. Clutching his teddy bear Mr. Snooglees.

Gen-Fu was caught sleeping with a teddy bear named Mr. Teddy Bear of Genius.

Helena was caught having singing lessons from her maid...O.O WTF!

Brad Wong was caught drinking Sun Drop...O.O I know, not whiskey or anything alcoholic.

Hitomi was caught dressed as Alice In Wonderland on DOA3 for her alternate costume. +OH DEAR GOD THE BLONDE HAIR, THE CLOTHES, THE BRIGHT COLOR...GOD HAVE YOU NO MERCY! SPARE US PLEASE+

Tina was caught stuffing her bra with padded cloth.

Ayane was caught spray painting her kunais purple.

Ayane was caught changing her contacts, so that her eyes could be red.

Ayane was also caught dying her hair a light lilac/lavendar colour.

Ryu was caught straightening his hair.

Hayate was caught fighting against a floating straw dummy...and lost horribly...O.O


End file.
